Freedom: A matter of WHY not WHAT

I am yet to find out whether Ronald Reagan, the 40th president of the United states of America was a theologian or a biblical scholar. Be it as it may, my dilemma is based on his all-time veracious qoute: 'There is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don't care who gets the credit.' His qoute corresponds with the scriptures recorded in the book of St Matthew 6:1, 'Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.' 'If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.'
The worst occurrences that we have continued to experience to this day from most if not all activists is a dire need for recognition, fame, publicity and monetary gain in reference to humanitarianism.
It's very unfortunate that, in today's world, vast majority of the so called activists who identify themselves as humanists are self-indulgent individuals whose objective is only to feed their insatiable greed for fame and money, possessions notwithstanding.
Even though Paul wasn't a prophet, his true allegiance to God proffered his profound wisdom. My claim is evident through the wisdom loaded words he inked in his second letter to his mentee Timothy. 'But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. Stay away from such people.' 2nd Timothy 3:1-5
These scriptures begs the question: In whose terms did you respond to your calling of serving humanity? Most people who establish nonprofit organizations in the name of serving humanity respond to a calling if any on their own terms that are suitable to feed their greed of terrestrial achievements.
In the gospel of St John 8:32, 'You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.' The greatest decision that can usher you to a life of perpetual freedom and profound happiness is the choice of being true to self. It's inarguably true that you can deceive everyone but yourself.
I totally agree that you're an assiduous  person and a conscientious hardworking activist who have always been in the forefront on matters humanitarianism. You spend restless days and sleepless nights thinking of how you can positively change the lives of the underprivileged. Nonetheless, the question still remains: Why do you do all these things? What you do can only be right if you do it without an ill motive. With ulterior motive, all you do is in vain. Freedom is not a matter of WHAT you do, it's a matter of WHY you do it. Motive is equally better if not more better than the deed.
As you put in long hours in humanitarianism or in whatever ways you extend your helping hand to the needy, just be advised that; however sympathetic or empathetic your deeds might be, with ulterior motive, (s) your help can only accord you self-abasement in place of freedom.
In a dire quest for freedom and happiness, you must ask yourself this intriguing question; Am I chasing power, possessions and publicity in the name of fulfilling my purpose? After all is said and done, it's worth noting that: Legends are born out of ascendancy of nobility over ignobility and their legacy is eventually realized.


 

LIVING A LIE

A while back, I wrote a blog namely: Me, Myself and I mindset. This is the kind of selfish mentality that contrives to living a lie. In exercise of my full force of cognitive thoughts, kindly allow me to refer you to a biblical compendium recorded by St Luke in Acts 5:1-10. Luke narrates to us the story of Ananias and his wife Sapphira who upon selling their piece of land lied to Apostle Peter on the money they had collected. Their lies led to their subsequent deaths on that very day.   

It's very unfortunate that we are living in the days where human beings have become so dishonest that you can hardly trust anyone including your spouse. Even though the present day high levels of  dishonesty are yet to contrive to physical deaths, (some already have) they have killed uncountable relationships and marriages.
The foundation that marks the inception of most if not all of todays marriages is lies. Most married couples are living with total strangers in their homes in the name of a husband or wife because their 'marriage' was established on a foundation of lies. But why is this happening? The answer to this very intriguing question is; since most people are in marriages to serve their selfish interests, they have to live a lie in the name of love in order to conceal their true identity of selfishness. These people have an insatiable appetite of receiving but will hardly extend their hand to give.

As long as you keep meeting their needs, they don't care about you or your needs. While your objective is to have a happy, healthy and a lovely marriage where reciprocity in equity contrives equality, they only heed to the needs that feed their greed. To them, you are just but a bridge towards the fulfillment of their selfish gains.

Selfishness goes hand in hand with pride and that's why selfish people will hardly apologize whenever they are wrong. On the other hand, they are lovers of money, fame, publicity, high lifestyles and material possessions and they can do anything to achieve these things. That's why they are serial liars and cheaters to a great extent. To them, too much is never enough. 
Unfortunately, most people who fall victim of such marriages are honest people who are true to self and true to their spouses as they hold a high level of transparency and accountability. 

To demystify the centuries old belief that marriage is a 50/50 union, in great marriages, both the husband and the wife will sometimes outdo each other depending on one's ability and acumen in certain areas of the marriage and life in general. Both of them must attend to their marital duties and responsibilities though not necessarily in equal measures. The sense of selfishness kicks in when either the husband or the wife thinks that he or she is there to be served without any reciprocity or responsibility whatsoever. 

Noting that living a lie is attributed to selfishness, a selfish spouse will open a bank account behind your back, lie about his or her income so that he or she can accumulate savings in that very secret bank account and always make sure that your income is used to the last penny in meeting all the needs of the family lest you save a coin. These are the people who will never ever help their spouse whenever he or she is financially stuck or otherwise. They operate under the famous selfish slogan, 'my money is mine but your money is ours.' 

If you are reading this blog and I am addressing the very situation you're going through, kindly be advised that; If your problem (s) isn't your spouse problem, your marriage is a problem.
In reference to the saying, 'when we all meet to give, everybody receives,' the question I beg to ask is: "Why are you in a marriage to receive without giving?" To anyone who is in a marriage to receive without giving, your selfishness is the number one cause of the problems in your marriage. Your selfishness does not only portray laziness since you can't meet your spouse needs, it also depicts a master versus slave setup where you are the master to be served while your spouse is the slave.
Times without number i've said that marriages aren't for selfish people. Even though you are getting married to be served by your spouse, that thought must be secondary to the primary thought of you serving your spouse relentlessly. The bible clearly says that then two shall become one. The question then remains, "why have you allowed your selfishness to subject your marriage to living a separate life marked with total dishonesty?"
If you are that selfish spouse, as you continue to get your every needs met by your angelic spouse who understands the true meaning of marriage and have chosen to live an honest life and to have unabated commitment in meeting your needs, please be advised that life doesn't have a vacuum. The more you fail to meet his or her needs, the further you're pushing him or her from yourself. One day when push comes to shove, your spouse who you've for a long time treated like a slave will get fed up by your selfishness and the marriage will be no more.
With or without closure, when you decide to leave your selfish spouse, don't be surprised if he or she comes begging for reconciliation. I am neither a prophet nor am I a clairvoyance but when that moment comes, please be advised that your selfish spouse desire to reconcile will totally be out of his or her self-interest of getting his or her cash-cow back and not about changing his or her selfish ways for a happy marriage.

Oh how I wish that I had an instant resolve for the victims who have fallen into the hands of selfish spouses. It's very unfortunate that selfishness is an inherent problem that's attributed to self-importance. Even though you can never ever talk your selfish spouse out of that detrimental vice, he or she can decide to change. With that change humility, honesty and generosity will be realized. 

To the selfish people I say: "Never push a loyal person to a point where they no longer care." I rest my case.

Was he or she your best friend to begin with?

The year was 1990 when Keith Wonderboy Johnson released his gospel track; Let go and let God. Fourteen years later in 2004, Hezekiah Walker followed suit when he released a track with the very same title, 'Let go and let God.' Things didn't stop there because twelve years later, Paul S. Morton decided not to copy and paste the same title although the title of his 2016 track, 'I let go, I let God' came too close to the two previous titles. 
Unfortunately, the words 'let go and let God' are easier said than done. Nonetheless, if you are in a dire quest of a healthy longevity, you don't have any other choice but to adhere to this phrase 'let go and let God, ' regardless of how impossible it seems. Yes it's painful but it's important. According to prophet Jeremiah; This is what the LORD says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the LORD." Jeremiah 17:5
Times without number, we have been told that love is the foundation of every great marriage. This is a centuries old mindset that I beg to differ with. As much as I believe that love is the greatest commandment as per the teachings of Christ, on matters marriage, love takes the second position while friendship occupies the throne. 
You may urge it otherwise till the cows come home but one among the three causes of present day marriage distegration is marrying someone who isn't your best friend. I am not talking of a comrade here, i am talking of a friend whom David in Proverbs 18:24 says that he or she sticks closer than a brother. I am referring to a confidant whom David refers to in Proverbs17:17 ; 'A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.' 
It's extremely imperative to understand that love develops out of genuine friendship and not vice versa. Without a smidgen fear of contradiction I've the audacity to say that; friendship is the fundamental foundation of every great marriage not love.
Noting that we have three different types of friends namely; a comrade, (temporal-illusory friend) a constituent, (seasonal-capricious friend) and a confidant (permanent-genuine friend) it's very important to weigh you friends and know which category each one of them belongs. Since friendship is the greatest social capital in life, (or it's supposed to be) it's primary objective is to add value in your life. If you have people in your life whom you consider to be your friends but they don't add any value in your life, kindly think twice about that friendship  lest you continue wasting your precious time with the wrong people who have an insatiable appetite of taking but will never ever give. 
This principle is applicable in marriages too. Marrying or getting married to someone who isn't your best friend is close if not equal to signing your own death certificate. The next worst thing that can happen to a human being apart from missing heaven is to be in a wrong marriage. If my problem is not your problem and vice versa, our marriage is in a problem. 

It's very important to know that; the greatest virtues that are needed in a marriage don't develop out of love. True friendship is the inception and the  nurturance of trust, honesty, unabated commitment, sacrifice, humility, generosity and the like, love is only an additive. 
Now that you have allowed stress and depression to take toll on your health out of days and months of restless days and sleepless nights just overthinking about a 'spouse' who proudly and selfishly walked out of your life after using you to achieve his or her selfish gain, do you honestly think that he or she was your BEST FRIEND?
I choose to be honest with you and tell you the bitter truth; to him or her,  'marriage' was a bridge towards fulfilling his or her selfish and manipulative gains and to lift his/her pride. That's why he or she decided to demolish the bridge after his or her achievement. To you, 'marriage' with that selfish and egocentric narcissist was a school of life. Now that the syllabus is well covered, it's your time to graduate and move on. The only thing you must do to him or her is to forgive for the sake of your happy and a healthy future. Although life lessons come with difficult experiences, every bit of them is worth what's awaiting.

In life, we don't meet people by accident or happenstance, they are meant to cross our path for a reason, a season or both. If a relationship doesn't stand the test of time, it doesn't mean that it wasn't meant to be. Not all encounters with people are meant to last forever.  Sometimes people are in our lives to teach us something. Sometimes the forever isn't the person but the lesson we learn from them. 
On the other hand, it's always important to know that there isn't anything that happens in your life without God's knowledge. None of your life's dreadful experiences have ever taken God by surprise. That's why He says that He can't subject you to temptations that you cannot overcome. Since God is supernatural, in your unhealthy state of lamentation and overthinking, it's worthy knowing that; God saw something you didn't see, heard something you didn't hear and He knows something you don't know. That's why He saved you from that dreadful marriage. What about this amazing scriptures; 'There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.' Proverbs 14:12
Now that the 'marriage' is over, kindly don't perceive yourself a failure, that was a lesson in life, and since the best gold has to go through fire, you now have what it takes to establish and nurture a happy, healthy, lovely and long-lasting marriage whenever time will be at your exposure. 

Finally, I don't want to leave you without the answer to our question; Was he or she your best friend to begin with?  The answer is; NO, he or she was not. He/ she was in your life to feed her greed and sate her needs out of selfishness contrived by; me, myself and I mindset. That's why he/she left you without a smidgen thought of how you helped him or her to positively change his or her life. 

As you comprehend to start another relationship with marriage in mind, kindly remember that; the only two friends you must consider are; A genuine friend (confidant) who can stick with you through thick and thin, a genuine friend who will always have your best interests at heart. The other friend who will never  ever leave you or foresake you is God. He will always sail you through life challenges. And for that 'spouse' who left you, kindly let go and let God.