Unfortunately, the words 'let go and let God' are easier said than done. Nonetheless, if you are in a dire quest of a healthy longevity, you don't have any other choice but to adhere to this phrase 'let go and let God, ' regardless of how impossible it seems. Yes it's painful but it's important. According to prophet Jeremiah; This is what the LORD says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the LORD." Jeremiah 17:5
Times without number, we have been told that love is the foundation of every great marriage. This is a centuries old mindset that I beg to differ with. As much as I believe that love is the greatest commandment as per the teachings of Christ, on matters marriage, love takes the second position while friendship occupies the throne.
You may urge it otherwise till the cows come home but one among the three causes of present day marriage distegration is marrying someone who isn't your best friend. I am not talking of a comrade here, i am talking of a friend whom David in Proverbs 18:24 says that he or she sticks closer than a brother. I am referring to a confidant whom David refers to in Proverbs17:17 ; 'A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.'
It's extremely imperative to understand that love develops out of genuine friendship and not vice versa. Without a smidgen fear of contradiction I've the audacity to say that; friendship is the fundamental foundation of every great marriage not love.
Noting that we have three different types of friends namely; a comrade, (temporal-illusory friend) a constituent, (seasonal-capricious friend) and a confidant (permanent-genuine friend) it's very important to weigh you friends and know which category each one of them belongs. Since friendship is the greatest social capital in life, (or it's supposed to be) it's primary objective is to add value in your life. If you have people in your life whom you consider to be your friends but they don't add any value in your life, kindly think twice about that friendship lest you continue wasting your precious time with the wrong people who have an insatiable appetite of taking but will never ever give.
This principle is applicable in marriages too. Marrying or getting married to someone who isn't your best friend is close if not equal to signing your own death certificate. The next worst thing that can happen to a human being apart from missing heaven is to be in a wrong marriage. If my problem is not your problem and vice versa, our marriage is in a problem.
It's very important to know that; the greatest virtues that are needed in a marriage don't develop out of love. True friendship is the inception and the nurturance of trust, honesty, unabated commitment, sacrifice, humility, generosity and the like, love is only an additive.
Now that you have allowed stress and depression to take toll on your health out of days and months of restless days and sleepless nights just overthinking about a 'spouse' who proudly and selfishly walked out of your life after using you to achieve his or her selfish gain, do you honestly think that he or she was your BEST FRIEND?
I choose to be honest with you and tell you the bitter truth; to him or her, 'marriage' was a bridge towards fulfilling his or her selfish and manipulative gains and to lift his/her pride. That's why he or she decided to demolish the bridge after his or her achievement. To you, 'marriage' with that selfish and egocentric narcissist was a school of life. Now that the syllabus is well covered, it's your time to graduate and move on. The only thing you must do to him or her is to forgive for the sake of your happy and a healthy future. Although life lessons come with difficult experiences, every bit of them is worth what's awaiting.
Now that you have allowed stress and depression to take toll on your health out of days and months of restless days and sleepless nights just overthinking about a 'spouse' who proudly and selfishly walked out of your life after using you to achieve his or her selfish gain, do you honestly think that he or she was your BEST FRIEND?
I choose to be honest with you and tell you the bitter truth; to him or her, 'marriage' was a bridge towards fulfilling his or her selfish and manipulative gains and to lift his/her pride. That's why he or she decided to demolish the bridge after his or her achievement. To you, 'marriage' with that selfish and egocentric narcissist was a school of life. Now that the syllabus is well covered, it's your time to graduate and move on. The only thing you must do to him or her is to forgive for the sake of your happy and a healthy future. Although life lessons come with difficult experiences, every bit of them is worth what's awaiting.
In life, we don't meet people by accident or happenstance, they are meant to cross our path for a reason, a season or both. If a relationship doesn't stand the test of time, it doesn't mean that it wasn't meant to be. Not all encounters with people are meant to last forever. Sometimes people are in our lives to teach us something. Sometimes the forever isn't the person but the lesson we learn from them.
On the other hand, it's always important to know that there isn't anything that happens in your life without God's knowledge. None of your life's dreadful experiences have ever taken God by surprise. That's why He says that He can't subject you to temptations that you cannot overcome. Since God is supernatural, in your unhealthy state of lamentation and overthinking, it's worthy knowing that; God saw something you didn't see, heard something you didn't hear and He knows something you don't know. That's why He saved you from that dreadful marriage. What about this amazing scriptures; 'There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.' Proverbs 14:12
Now that the 'marriage' is over, kindly don't perceive yourself a failure, that was a lesson in life, and since the best gold has to go through fire, you now have what it takes to establish and nurture a happy, healthy, lovely and long-lasting marriage whenever time will be at your exposure.
On the other hand, it's always important to know that there isn't anything that happens in your life without God's knowledge. None of your life's dreadful experiences have ever taken God by surprise. That's why He says that He can't subject you to temptations that you cannot overcome. Since God is supernatural, in your unhealthy state of lamentation and overthinking, it's worthy knowing that; God saw something you didn't see, heard something you didn't hear and He knows something you don't know. That's why He saved you from that dreadful marriage. What about this amazing scriptures; 'There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.' Proverbs 14:12
Now that the 'marriage' is over, kindly don't perceive yourself a failure, that was a lesson in life, and since the best gold has to go through fire, you now have what it takes to establish and nurture a happy, healthy, lovely and long-lasting marriage whenever time will be at your exposure.
Finally, I don't want to leave you without the answer to our question; Was he or she your best friend to begin with? The answer is; NO, he or she was not. He/ she was in your life to feed her greed and sate her needs out of selfishness contrived by; me, myself and I mindset. That's why he/she left you without a smidgen thought of how you helped him or her to positively change his or her life.
As you comprehend to start another relationship with marriage in mind, kindly remember that; the only two friends you must consider are; A genuine friend (confidant) who can stick with you through thick and thin, a genuine friend who will always have your best interests at heart. The other friend who will never ever leave you or foresake you is God. He will always sail you through life challenges. And for that 'spouse' who left you, kindly let go and let God.
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